


En Obscuro Lumen

by the_captain_of_the_ship



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Rey, Dark Side Rey, Eventual Smut, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Ben Solo, Naive Ben, Padawan Ben Solo, Passionate Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_captain_of_the_ship/pseuds/the_captain_of_the_ship
Summary: Nine years ago Snoke found Rey on Jakku.  Rey sees him as her savior, and is a devotee to the Dark.Jedi Padawan Ben Solo finds himself in the middle of the assault on Tuanul.  He thinks he's helped Poe Dameron escape with the map to his uncle Luke Skywalker, but Poe's X-wing still gets shot down, and suddenly he's face to face with the Master of the Knights of Ren.This AU is set in the Star Wars universe, during the Sequel Trilogy and maybe after!(The AU no one asked for *** Except Me *** where Rey is dark and Ben is the only hope for the galaxy.  Enjoy!)





	1. Rey is Kira Ren

**One**

**Rey is Kira Ren**

 

“Come forward Kira, Master of the Knights of Ren.”  I hear Snoke’s voice, and not in my head this time.  I almost always hear his voice, usually admonishing me for some small mistake I’ve noticed I’ve made. 

I glance up toward the larger than life hologram projection.  The projected Snoke makes him appear to be a giant, and although he is taller than most humans at about seven feet he is no titan.  No, it is not his stature that makes him frightening.  It’s not even his deformed face or his inhuman white blue eyes.  His grasp of the Dark Side, his sheer power in the Force, makes him the most feared person in the galaxy.

And _I_ am his right hand.  A former scavenger, an orphan, a _slave_ , is second in command to the most powerful Force user that has ever lived.  _That_ is the power of the First Order.  The First Order is proof that people can rise above their beginnings, however humble, to be a part of something larger than themselves.  The name says everything.  Snoke wants to bring order to a chaotic galaxy. 

I am the greatest example of the power of the First Order.  I am a living testament to the First Order’s ability to transform the galaxy, to make it better.  My own metamorphosis should show that although Snoke uses the power of the Dark Side of the Force, that it can be used in a way to make people, civilizations, planets, even entire star systems better. 

No one should have the ability, the _right,_ to buy and sell people.  Snoke has assured me that slavery will be the first subject dealt with when the Order has control of the galaxy.

I trust Supreme Leader Snoke with my life.  I trust him with everything I am.  He found me in the deserts of Jakku.  He rescued me, and possibly saved my life.  I was starving, malnourished and small for a child of ten years.  He gave me hope for a better future, for a better life not only for me but also for everyone everywhere.  The only thing he asked for in return was complete loyalty.  Now, nearly ten years later, it is my complete privilege to give it to him, to serve him with every ounce of faith that I have.  The Dark Side is my religion, and Snoke is my savior.

I have trained, and fought, and killed for Snoke without doubt and without hesitation.  I have given everything I am to him without reservation, and all of the years of blood and sweat, my devotion has been rewarded.  I defeated all other Knights of Ren and all other challengers and I am his most trusted soldier in the war against the Rebellion, against the Light.  I am his Dark Angel.

Although I stand to move toward him, I keep my head bowed in reverence.  I know he is particularly fond of that.

“Kira, you have grown into everything I had hoped you would become and more.  I rescued a poor sand rat from Jakku, and I have created a mighty lioness.  You are my most prized accomplishment.”  His voice booms louder through the projection, and even though he is not physically here, I still feel his dark presence like a heavy cloak protecting me and shielding me from the Light.  I learned while living on Jakku the effects of the light, how it can burn and wilt, wither everything it touches, while the dark calms and restores, brings peace and tranquility. 

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.  It is my honor to be your humble servant and student, to show the world the reformative powers of the Dark Side.” 

He chuckles at my words.  I feel ashamed, as if I’ve again said the wrong thing.  “You my dear girl are the apprentice every master longs for.  You take correction without contempt, as some of your other contemporaries do.” 

I do not look over my shoulder, but I know he’s talking about General Hux.  I feel no sympathy for my rival.  If he is jealous of my position in the Order, he should strive to make himself better, stronger, smarter.

“I of course do not call Hux your equal, because my dear you have none.”  I hear Hux inhale loudly at that double edged praise from the Supreme Leader, since it is for me.  “But he says that he has indisputable information about the map to Skywalker, and coincidentally it is on Jakku.  It may have been there even when I saved you, my dear.”

Unlike Hux, I do show any reaction, even if hearing the name of my former home planet brings all the unpleasant memories rushing back.

“You are to lead the mission to retrieve the map from Lor San Tekka before General Organa’s prized pilot gets it.  You will not disappoint me, will you my dear?” 

“I will do whatever needs to be done to get that map, and then when I prove myself hopefully you will give me the most important mission.  I will be the one to kill Luke Skywalker.”  Hux gasps again, and I realize that I have overstepped.  I correct my mistake by continuing, “If you deem me worthy of course, Supreme Leader.”

I can hear Hux’s teeth grinding.  Hux will always be beneath me.  Always.

“If time was not of utmost importance I would allow you to show Hux the error of his ways once again.  But you must put on your armor Kira, and join Captain Phasma immediately.”  As the hologram disappears, his last words can be heard.  “I know you will not disappoint me.”

Only then do I turn toward Armitage and smirk.  “I’m sorry we can’t have our playtime today,” I assert.  He shivers visibly.  I give him a proud, toothy smile.  “Which hangar bay will Captain Phasma depart from?”

“Bay four,” he provides curtly. 

I nod.  “Thank you, general,” I say, as I walk past him.  Although he is taller, I have trained myself to move faster than him.  I will not let him best me at anything.

I make my way to my basic, utilitarian rooms.  I have a bed, a closet, and a fresher.  It is much nicer than my living quarters on Jakku.  I shudder to think of it.  I can’t believe I have to go back, even for a mission.  The most important mission of the Order, I remind myself.  

After the galaxy knows that Skywalker is dead and the Light has been defeated, there will be no reason for them to continue to rebel.  They will accept the Order and all systems will bow to Snoke.

And to me.

 

 


	2. Ben Solo is the Galaxy's Only Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Ben Solo. He's got his own issues, obviously.

Ben Solo is the Galaxy's Only Hope

Two

 

“Ben, your persistence has paid off.  You’ve completed your mission.  You can come home now,” my mother assures me.  General Organa even does what I’ve rarely seen her do in the last few years.  She smiles at me.

“No, Mother.  I need to see this mission through.  I have to make sure nothing happens to Poe, and then I’ll protect his six on the trip home.  I have to join him when he finds Uncle Luke.”  She should know that I need my own answers.  I know what happened on Yavin 4 was tragic, but I need to know why my uncle didn’t take me with him when he disappeared.  I need to know why he didn’t complete my training, and make me a Jedi Knight.  I cannot remain a padawan for the rest of my life.

I’m inside my ETA-2 Starfighter, my astromech R5-DE, or DeDe as I like to call it, is providing support so I can communicate off this wretched planet.  My ETA is beige in color, and I’ve hidden it with Force Stealth, but the scavengers that populate the planet have still somehow found it and tried to take it apart.  DeDe has had to take defensive measures more than once.  Dede is orange and beige, so it is also somewhat camouflaged in the dessert.

“I know, Ben.  I understand why you need to do this, I do.  But if we can’t bring my stubborn brother back to the Light, you are the only hope of…”

I cut her off there.  “I can’t be the galaxy’s only hope, Mother.  I’m not even a real Jedi.”  I try to keep the anger I feel out of my voice.  I know Jedi aren’t supposed to feel negative emotions so strongly, but I do.  I feel everything stronger than I should, I always have, and I can’t help wondering if that’s why my uncle decided to abandon me in the middle of my training.

“Ben, if we can’t find your uncle, you _are_ the last Jedi.”  Yes, and _that_ doesn’t weigh heavy on my heart either.  The memory of all the other students at the temple either being taken or slaughtered is always at the forefront of my mind.  It will never, ever let me rest.

“I need to do this, general.  I have to see this through.”  It’s not a request.  I think she hears it in my voice.

“As stubborn as your father, and as deep in your convictions as every other Skywalker male.  You are the most dangerous of the Jedi, Ben.  I almost feel sorry for Snoke’s Dark Angel,” she says softly,

I sigh when I hear her words, but there’s a hint of a smile in my voice when I reply.  “I don’t.  I’ll contact you soon, Mother.”  With that I end the transmission.

Poe will be on the planet before nightfall, and I will be his support on the return trip to D’Qar.  That means I have five hours to wait on this Force forsaken planet.  I climb out of the cockpit, slide down onto the wing, then find some shade under the ship as I eat a ration bar.  I’ve never been as hungry as I’ve felt on this planet.  There’s something about the life force of the people that is starving, not only for food but also for the Light.

_No!  Come back!_

I drop the ration bar and stand immediately.  I look around, but I see no one.  “Did you hear something, DeDe?” I ask.

The droid’s response is a quick beep.  “ _No.”_

_Come baaaack!_

I hear it louder this time, more insistent.  It’s obviously a child, a small child, in danger.  My hand goes to my utility belt, touching the hilt of my light saber at the same time I take off running.  By the time DeDe starts to protest, I am almost three meters away and can barely hear the beeps.  “ _Where are you go-“_

I run until I hear the unmistakable sobs of a child grow louder, stronger, as if I feel the sadness and longing in my own heart.  I stop suddenly, feeling in the Force that the child is right here.  But there’s nothing.  It’s just more sun, more sand, more desert.

I take another step and my foot encounters metal.  I look down and notice it is the top of an AT-AT.  At that same moment I realize the sobs have stopped.  I take a step back, and see the outline of the transport vehicle, most of which is buried under the sand.  Is a child trapped in there?

I don’t think.  I act.  I begin to shovel the sand away with my hands.  After several minutes of this futile attempt, I contact DeDe. 

“Dede, if you are not already following me, I need you at my location right now.”  I don’t know how an astromech can help dig out the huge walker, but I know I can’t do it alone. 

_Use the Force, Ben._

I hear the voice as loudly as I heard the sobbing.  Although I never met the man, I know whose voice it is.  It is the Jedi I was named after.  I’ve heard his voice through holos, of course, so I can’t be sure if he is actually speaking to me or if I hear my own conscience in the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I stand up again, close my eyes, and center myself in the Force.  I find the small piece of the Light that is still hanging on in my chest and expand it.  I feel it cover me, warm and bright.  Then I feel it moving outward, and I hear a creak of metal and the sliding of sand.  The walker is rising up out of the desert of Jakku. 

I hear DeDe’s excited beeps, but I try not to let it distract me.  I take a deep breath, feeling the hot air of the planet invading my lungs.  I open my eyes, and see the hole in the sand where AT-AT lay for so long.  I move it several inches to the right.

“ _Ben, you idiot_!”  It finally clicks in my mind what DeDe is saying.  “ _Behind-_ “

And that’s when I feel something connect to the back of my head, in the split second before everything goes black.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is strong in the Force, but his emotions are also strong which is not good if you're a Jedi. He's got his own reasons for finding Skywalker.  
> Also I took the liberty of giving Ben a droid partner. Because doesn't Ben Solo need a droid?  
> What is going to happen when these Rey and Ben come face to face?  
> THANKS AGAIN TO BUNNY JONEZ, MY AMAZING ALPHA READER! SHE IS THE BOMB!


	3. Rey isn't afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you haven't already noticed, this is more of a rewrite than a strict _AU_.
> 
> I am trying to stay as close to the original story as possible, adding a "what if" nuance to it.
> 
> Rey's favorite toy is Hux, just as I'm pretty sure Kylo enjoyed screwing with the ginger general. But in this one, Hux feels a little differently because Rey is a gorgeous, powerful woman... and we all know that is probably Hux's kryptonite.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey isn't afraid of Hux's boogeyman

Three

 

 

Hux is standing by my door when I exit my room.  “Have you heard from Lanx Ren?” he asks, as he falls into step beside me.

“No.”  I hear my voice through the modulator, and I smile.  It never gets old.

“Or Novan Ren?” he continues.

“I must be somewhere, now.  I don’t have time for your games today Hux, as much as we both enjoy me beating you at them.”

He scoffs.  I know he likes being bested by me.  He might blush and scoff, but he knows he cannot hide the truth from me, as much as he has attempted to train himself to do so.

He moves quickly, shockingly so, to stand in front of me.  I stop, even if it is momentarily.  He gazes up at the viewport in my helmet, which is a darker slit over my eyes.  “There is something out there, killing…”

That’s all he gets out before I nudge him out of the way with my shoulder and continue to walk.  “I don’t have time for this,” I mumble.

“Killing the Knights of Ren,” he finishes, his voice lower and darker than I’ve ever heard it.  That stops me in my tracks.  I take a deep breath, and feel my fingers curl into fists.

“Stop making up ghost stories, Hux.  You can’t frighten me,” I warn him, but I don’t walk away.  Something stops me.  I hear a truth, a fear in his voice that makes my shoulders shudder slightly.

He steps in front of me, trying to gaze into my eyes again.  Panic rolls off him, which is extremely unusual for someone who is normally so repressed and controlled it’s incomprehensible.  And I have tried my hardest to find every one of his triggers and push them, but he usually remains unruffled.  So, what is this?  Why today? 

“I am a general, whether you acknowledge it or not.  I hear things.  I know things,” he tries to convince me.  “Be careful  out there, Rey.”

I bolt at the sound of the name my owner Unkar Plutt gave me.  After nine years communing with the Dark, I still have not learned my real name.  I assume I have not tried hard enough, been good enough.  I hope that when I strike down Luke Skywalker Snoke will finally share that information with me.  My name, my parents, my family.

“Don’t ever call me that name again,” I warn him, as I give him a strong enough Force nudge to make him stumble out of my way.  He follows after me when he recovers himself, and joins me in the lift.  “There is no monster out there killing my knights.  Luke Skywalker is holed up somewhere quaking in his boots.  I’m sure he has already seen my saber through his heart in a Force vision, and he is afraid to show his face.”

“You are extremely confident, Mistress Ren.  Don’t let that confidence be your downfall,” he warns, just as the doors open and we emerge at hangar bay four. 

The first thing I see four AAL being loaded up with storm troopers.  I take in everything, the movement of the troops, the emotions emanating from them.  My eyes land on one trooper in particular.  He is afraid, but there is something else.  I feel more of the Force in this trooper than in any other I’ve encountered, and a tiny bit of Light.

I focus on that one trooper, trying to push into his mind, when I am interrupted by Captain Phasma.  “Sir, the troops are nearly loaded.  Your shuttle is ready for you.”  Then she turns her head toward Hux and acknowledges him with a curt, “General.”

“Captain,” he replies, with a polite nod.

My attention focuses on Phasma.  She is loyal, strong, and self-confident, everything a leader should be.  There is not a hint of discontent in her.  If she longs for a life outside of the First Order, she hides it well.  “Thank you, captain.  With eight squads of storm troopers we can claim the entire planet.”

“Perhaps next time, Sir,” she comments, and returns to her troops.

I search again for the trooper with the Light, but I don’t see him now.  He is probably already in one of the transport ships. 

I turn toward my own ship.  “Be careful, Mistress,” Hux echoes.

“Don’t worry, Hux.  I’ll be back.  I could never let you win,” I reply sharply, as I make my way to my shuttle.

Something feels… off.  The trooper hiding the Light deep inside him.  Hux’s warning.  Even Snoke’s unusual praise feels somehow wrong.

Perhaps it is the planet, I think, as we disembark from the Finalizer and head toward Jakku.  Perhaps it is ghosts of the past haunting me. 

I stand up straighter.  Nothing on Jakku, and nothing in Hux’s fantasies can frighten me.  I am Kira, Master of the Knights of Ren.  There is nothing I fear.  Not the Jedi.  Not the Light. 

I will defeat the entire planet of Jakku if I have to.  _Through Victory my chains are broken.  The Force shall free me._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be a pointless journey, but it's the one I've chosen to take. I hope you choose to come along with me.
> 
> AGAIN THANK YOU TO BUNNY JONEZ! 
> 
> And thanks to everyone who is joining me.


	4. Ben Solo Knight Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to keep the story pretty close to the movies, except that Rey is evil and Ben is stumbling through life trying to find his true purpose.  
> I wonder if he might have just found it.

Ben Solo - Killer of Knights of Ren

 

 

Force, my head hurts.  Where am I?  I open my eyes, and everything is dark.  The last thing I remember is watching the AT-AT rising out of the sand, and DeDe approaching, beeping excitedly.  _Behind…_

Kriff, I was hit in the back of the head.  I’m under some kind of cloth tarp.  And I smell some kind of beast, and it smells horrible.  I move to grab my light saber, and realize my hands are cuffed. 

I take a moment to regroup myself.  How did I let this happen?  There was something about the sobbing that felt so real, so desperate, I had to find it.  And then I had all of my attention on that kriffing walker.

I take a deep breath, find the tiny bit of the Light still deep in my chest, and find that it’s grown.  For some reason, the piece of Light is bigger.  That’s strange. 

I break the cuffs, grab for my light saber, and throw the tarp off me.  I’m staring right at the ass end of a luggabeast.  And just when I realize that my saber isn’t attached to my waist, and neither is my utility belt, I feel another smack to the back of my head.

As I’m blacking out again, I hear DeDe beeping.  “ _You’re such a moron..._ ”

 

*****

 

The next thing I know, I’m being tossed out of the cart and against the side of a mud hut in Tuanul.  And by a Teedo, no less.  I recognize the town after my scouting mission there.  My mission was simply to find Lor San Tekka, which I did.  If I had taken the map back to D’Qar myself, this wouldn’t have happened.

_“Come on, nerf herder.  Wake up!”_ DeDe’s beeping is incessant, and annoying.  I should have never programmed the droid with insults.  But I thought it would be amusing to hear a droid insult people I don’t like, and they wouldn’t be able to understand it.  Instead, all it does is insult me.

“Okay,” I huff, and move my arms to break the cuffs again.  But this time they are sturdier.  What did the Teedo cuff me with?  “DeDe, I need your help.”

_“You always do, you stupid lug.”_ Then the droid beeps, and I swear he’s laughing.

“Yea, laugh it up, clanker.  They’ll sell you for scrap metal.”  The Teedo must still have my light saber, but it has gone into the building I’m currently lying against.  I scoot around so that DeDe can reach the cuffs.  It’s already dark.  How long have I been unconscious?  Poe should be here any time now, if he isn’t already here.

“ _They plan to sell you as a pleasure slave to a Hutt,_ ” DeDe informs me.  I hear the droid’s tools clicking at the cuffs.

“I am a Jedi, not a pleasure slave!” I argue.

“ _You wish_ ,” Dede beeps. 

Kriff, my droid is harsh!  “Could you lighten up a little, DeDe?”

“ _The cuffs are unlocked, Master Jedi,_ ” the droid snips.

I pull my arms apart, feel the cuffs drop, and stand up.  And that’s when all hell breaks loose.  I hear several ships landing, and look around the corner of the building to see storm troopers pouring out of them. 

“Where is my saber!” I grumble to DeDe.

“ _A Jedi would never lose his saber.  Obviously you’re not one,_ ” DeDe beeps back.

“Find it!” I whisper harshly.

Dede beeps several times like the tick of a chrono expressing its displeasure at being assigned a menial task, but it moves into the building after the Teedo.

Poe runs past me, and I see his X-Wing in the distance.  A trooper approaches him, and aims his blaster at the ship.  I inhale loudly, find the Light inside me, and use the Force to push them down. 

I keep the troopers at bay, long enough for Poe’s ship to start up before more troopers notice him.  The Light has grown even brighter inside me at this point, and I use it to Force stun all of them.  They fall down as if they’ve all suddenly fallen asleep.  Poe’s X-wing takes off, but it doesn’t break atmo before it’s shot down by a command shuttle.  Hopefully he’s gotten far enough away so that the troopers won’t get to the map before he somehow makes it off planet. 

That’s when I notice more troopers gathering the villagers together, and some of them have Lor San Tekka surrounded in front of his hut.  At that moment a Knight of Ren disembarks from the gorgeous Upsilon class shuttle.  As it approaches Lor it orders a trooper in silver armor, “Find that pilot.”

“Yes, sir,” the trooper replies in a distorted yet surprisingly feminine voice.

I’ve already had to kill two Knights of Ren on this mission, so this one doesn’t scare me.  But this time I don’t have my light saber.  I have to improvise. 

“And to think, you Force fanatics have been hiding the location to Luke Skywalker this entire time.”  I’m not surprised by the voice that comes out of the mask, I’ve heard the modulated tones before.

“Little Rey, you’re all grown up,” Lor says. 

“How do you…” the Knight says.  Then it takes a step away, and rocks back and forth momentarily.  The Knight is much shorter than Lor, and I’m not sure if it’s a human or some other species.  The build is definitely human, but small. 

“I know more about you than you do, Rey,” Lor says.

The Knight takes a moment to regain its composure.  “All I want is the map to Skywalker, and you’re going to give it to the First order.”

“The First Order arose from the Dark Side.  You did not,” Lor counters.

“ _I have your saber_ ,” DeDe beeps.

But I’m already stupidly, foolishly walking toward Lor.  I have masked my presence from the troopers, I have made my way stealthily around them.  I’m close enough to smell the air burning around the red saber staff as it ignites.

“I’ll show you the Dark Side,” the Knight threatens, as it pulls the staff up to strike the taller man.

“Stop!” I call out, and use a Force burst to push the figure wearing all black away from Lor.  And although I do move it, I can’t prevent what happens next.  If the Knight used a saber instead of a staff, I would have put it off balance enough to stop the strike.  Instead, it moves the bottom blade of the staff upward, and beheads Lor as it slides backward.  It almost looks as if the Knight meant to take the swing upward, with the way it disengages the staff after the act, and swiftly turns toward me with its arm outstretched.

I am caught in a Force hold.  I can’t move.  I can barely breathe.  And oddly enough, this isn’t the worst jam I’ve found myself in today.

Two troopers approach me, and I can’t defend myself when they hit me and grab me, pulling me toward the Knight.  I’ve been hit much harder.  The Force stun lets up, and as soon as I can move I feel a boot against the back of my knee.  I’m shoved down into a kneeling position in front of the Knight. 

Then it crouches down, and glares at me from behind the flat black mask and the thin black strip of transparisteel that hides its eyes.

I could brush against its mind, but I don’t want to expose myself immediately.  So I clear my mind, and gaze up at it. 

“What are you?” the Knight demands.  I remain quiet.  “Are you one of the Light worshippers from the village?  Or are you something else?”

“I’m no one,” I reply.  I don’t try to use any Jedi mind tricks, because the Knight would sense it immediately.

The Knight continues to stare at me, and I feel it brush against my mind.  That’s when I feel something I’ve never felt before.  The Light, as if on its own, seems to pulse up my spine and around my brain.  I think it masks whatever the Knight is trying to find, and it lets out a frustrated little grumble.

“Search him,” the Knight orders his troopers, and they respond immediately. 

They pat down the pockets of my plain trousers, up my vest, and over my chest.  Then one replies, “Nothing, sir.”

“Put him on board,” the Knight orders them.  I am dragged toward the shuttle when I hear it command, “Kill them all.”

“No!” I mutter, and try to pull away from the troopers.  But the blasters are already firing.  A soon as I’m inside the shuttle, I feel another blow to the back of my head.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! I'm so excited that ya'll are enjoying my rewrite.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr here: [The captain of the ship](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tcotsao3)


	5. Rey is afraid of one thing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the mind meld (sorry, mixing fandoms) I mean Force Bond part. 
> 
> They see into each other's minds, but when Ben sees into Rey's they both know what Rey fears most.

**Ben Finds Rey's fears**

**Five**

I watch as he snaps into consciousness.  He takes a moment to look around, his dark eyes adjusting to the darkness surrounding him before he jerks his arms, testing the metal bonds holding him.  Then those dark eyes are on me.  Unlike most people who see the mask and the armor, he doesn’t seem afraid.  His long face spattered with marks like constellations shows no clue to his emotions.  He looks almost bored.

The worst part, I’ve been crouched down and staring at him for several minutes, and the entire time I’ve tried to see into his mind.  And I can’t.  I have no idea what kind of ceremony he went through in the religious cult he lived with, but it is hiding his mind from me.  From _me_!  I am the strongest Darksider _alive_ , besides my master of course!

“Where am I?” he demands, his calm deep voice devoid of fear.  He must have a lot of faith in the Light.  He shouldn’t.  I could kill him in the blink of an eye, without lifting a finger.

“You’re my guest,” I reply.  I try my hardest to keep the sarcasm out of my tone.

“And the villagers?” he asks.  He says it as if he was not one of them.  I take a moment to again try to search his mind, and I find nothing.

“You mean the religious fanatics, the zealots, and Light devotees?  You’ll be pleased to hear they have been reunited with the Light they worship.”  I can’t keep the smugness out of my voice.  I always feel a bit pleased when I send Light worshipers to their deaths.  I wonder if the Light celebrates, or mourns.  “You’re not afraid of me?” I ask, and immediately regret it.  I shouldn’t show him any curiosity.  I should be confident, strong in the Darkness.  I am the Master of the…

“It’s kind of hard to fear someone who has to hide behind a mask,” he answers, with a poise and self-assurance he shouldn’t possess while being restrained in my presence.  I am the Master of… 

I gasp at my own thoughts.  I shouldn’t let it, but it irks me.  It gets under my skin in a way nothing else has in a long time.  I don’t have to hide behind the mask.  I am intimidating.  I am strong and powerful.  I am!

I touch the hidden depression at the back of the mask, and I hear the hydraulic hiss as it releases.  I remove it and stand up to my full height.  Size matters not, as my master has told me many times.  I might be smaller than most, even than this man in front of me, but I am stronger.  I _am_!

His face changes when he gazes at me.  He seems shocked that I’m a woman.  He shouldn’t be.  Women can be just as strong as men, especially in the Force.

“We have the pilot.  We will get the piece of the map he retrieved from Lor San Tekka.  It’s inside a droid and the First Order will have it soon enough.  What I don’t understand is you.  Where do you fit into all of this?” 

His eyes change when he hears my voice without the modulator.  They become wide and deep and their darkness sparkles, before he tries to hide it again behind a feigned emptiness.  But I’ve seen it.  I’ve seen the spark and for some reason I want it.

“I’m nothing, a humble pilgrim from Naboo searching for knowledge.”  His voice is soothing, warm and… attractive.  His voice is beautiful and seductive. 

I have no idea why, but I can’t tell if he is being truthful.  It’s as if his voice is working some kind of magic that I’ve never experienced before.  I shake my head and take a few steps closer to him.  His eyes grow wide as he watches me approach, but then he quickly looks away.

“You?  A pilgrim?” I ask, taking in his clothing that makes him look more like a scoundrel than a religious extremist.  He’s far too handsome, with all that dark hair that he’d tied at the crown of his head now falling around his high forehead.  His full lips are framed by the beginnings of a beard, as if he has not shaved in a while.  Is he a con artist, using some ploy to swindle the poor villagers out of their meager earnings?  “I am a Knight of Ren.  I can take whatever I want.”

I raise my gloved hand to the side of his head, and move in closer nearly touching him.  He jolts and tries to move away from my hand.  He smells like luggabeast and dirt, but there’s something else.  It’s his clothing.  They’re clean, and so is his skin, even if he doesn’t smell like it.  He’s not from Jakku.  Perhaps he is from Naboo.  He has the dark hair and eyes of one from the planet, even if his skin is pale.  He’s definitely not from Jakku.

I reach down deep, deeper into the Darkness inside of me and use more of it than I do even when sparring with the other Knights.  His countenance shows pain, his lush lips and strong jaw curling up into a scowl.  I’m digging deeper into his psyche.  Suddenly I see bits and pieces of pictures, and feelings. 

I inhale at the sheer torture and sadness of his emotions, but it makes me move closer to him, even though he tries to move away.  “You’re so lonely, but so afraid to leave.”  I want to touch his beautiful pale skin, to comfort him and take away his loneliness.  And it stuns me.  I’ve never felt that way before, about anyone or anything.  “At night, desperate to sleep, you imagine an ocean.  I see it.  I see the island.”  It’s such a beautiful image, so calm and peaceful, so stunningly contrary to the actual chaos of his emotions.  “And you desperately cling to the Light?  But it will betray you.”

“Get out of my head!” he commands, with a strength he shouldn’t possess.  Something pushes against me, a power that I’ve never felt before, not even in Snoke.  My hands shake as I step away, and again stand at my full height. 

“Don’t be afraid.  I feel it too.”  All of the sadness, the emptiness, the pain, I feel it too.  I want to say it out loud to him.  But instead I push deeper into his mind.  And he pushes back.  “I _will_ take whatever I want,” I say, more confidently than I feel.  And I want him.  I’ve never wanted anything, not food or water or shelter more than I want to hold and explore this man.

What kind of power does this man have?  Why can’t I find it?  How is he shielding it from me?  I push in farther, deeper, but this time I only feel the Light shining back at me.  As if it’s calling to me.  As if it is…

_Nooooooooo!  Come baaaaack!_

I see it as if I am looking at myself when I was a child, abandoned on that horrible hell-hole of a planet, Unkar Plutt’s meaty hand grabbing at my tiny little arm.

_Quiet girl_ , his hateful voice scolds.

I see myself, a tiny little thing, with tears streaming down my dirty cheeks.  My brown hair was up in three buns, tight away from my face.  My rough brown smock even more dirty than me. 

_Noooooooooooo_! the little me screams, as I glance up into the sky and see a ship departing, and all I wanted to do was be on it, to be anywhere other than the desert, the sand, and in Unkar Plutt’s hurtful hands.

“You.  You’re afraid, that they will never come back for you, that you’ll always be alone,” the smooth, sultry voice of my captive says, bringing me back to reality.

I shudder at the words.  At the truth.  Somehow as I was looking into his mind, he was also staring into mine. 

I pull away quickly, as if the Light has burned me again like it did on Jakku.  My guest, my captive, looks almost as shocked as I am.

I gaze at him, and realize that I am just as alone, just as afraid as he is. 

And it scares me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all the kudos and hits and stuff. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!


	6. Ben is not the stormtrooper you're looking for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has been a fun rewrite. I'm enjoying it.  
> I hope you guys are too!

**Ben is not the stormtrooper you're looking for**

**Six**

 

She’s so beautiful.  Her hazel eyes practically light up a golden hue at times.  I know it’s a Sith trait, and I don’t care.  They look so beautiful on her.  And her skin is just as golden as her eyes, with a spattering of freckles and a hint of dimples that make her look so young.  Her thick chestnut hair is tied back at the nape of her long graceful neck, and spills out around her shoulders.

She’s so lonely.  Even before I saw into her mind somehow, I could tell she felt more alone than anything.  Maybe it was the fact that she was abandoned that sent her to the dark.  I mean, I know my parents sent me off to my uncle when they could no longer control my outbursts, but I knew I was loved.  This girl, barely an adult, knew nothing but sadness and pain growing up on Jakku.  She is obviously the girl whose sobs and anguished pleas I heard in the dessert.  Why did the Force try to lead me to her?  What is it about this girl that it wanted me to see the hovel she clawed out of the wreckage and made a home? 

Why would the force bring me to this strong Dark Sider?  She’s drenched in it like spiced oil.  It hangs on her like a heavy, expensive cloak.  She must be the one he calls his Dark Angel.  She has to be.  She looks so sweet and innocent, even with the hint of gold in her eyes.  She is breathtaking.

And what did she mean she feels it too?  How does she know what I’m feeling?  Does she know that I’m attracted to her?  That’s just embarrassing, if it’s true. 

And why am I still here, strapped to this interrogation table and thinking about _her_ , when I should be planning my escape?  I glance over at the storm trooper guarding the door on the inside.  Why would she leave him there, where I could possibly persuade him to release me?  Was she trying to help me get away?

“Hey, trooper!” I call out.  “You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

“What did you say?” the trooper replies.

“I don’t have time for this,” I grumble to myself. 

The trooper walks closer and says, almost sarcastically, “I’ll tighten those restraints, scoundrel.”

“I said, you will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door…”  I don’t even get a chance to finish when the metal bands release from their locks.  “DeDe,” I sigh. 

The trooper looks confused as he draws his blaster.  I immediately Force stun him, and he falls to the ground.  At the same time the door slides open and DeDe enters.

“Took you long enough,” I complain, as I step away from the table and begin to undress the trooper.  “How did you sneak onto a First Order ship anyway?”

“ _Very carefully.  I don’t hear a thank you,_ ” the droid beeps.  Why in the world did I think it would be a good idea to program the droid with sarcasm?

“Thank you DeDe,” I reply.  The droid is busy at the interface near the door.  “Have you found Poe?”

“ _Poe is in the interrogation room next door.  We’ll get him, then we’ll head to a hangar bay and steal a ride off this ship._ ”  DeDe’s top rotates toward me, and it’s visual sensor becomes huge.  “ _You’re too tall to be a storm trooper._ ”

I slide the helmet on over my head, and begin to tug at the stupid armor that’s riding up in all the wrong places.  “We work with what we’ve got.”

I take the trooper’s blaster, and follow DeDe to the next room.  The droid opens it quickly, and I move in to find it already empty. 

“ _There were no orders to move Commander Dameron_ ,” DeDe beeps after a moment of checking the interface. 

I hear boots in another hallway, coming closer.  “We need to get out of here, fast.”

“ _Walk to the end of the hallway, then turn left_ ,” DeDe orders. 

“We have to find Poe,” I exclaim.  But I do as the droid says because it always seems to avoid trouble somehow, when I’m the one who always seems to find his way right into the thick of it.

“ _We will, but right now we have to get out of this hallway.  With Commander Dameron gone, it’s about to get extremely busy._ ” 

I follow the droids orders.  I turn a corner and find Poe chatting with a storm trooper who has his helmet off.  And my first thought of course is to fuck with them.

“Why is your helmet off, trooper?” I demand, as I walk closer with the blaster resting across my chest.

“Ah, bantha shi-“ the trooper says.

Then Poe turns and for a moment looks more afraid than I’ve ever seen the pilot look.  Until he notices DeDe, and his eyes immediately return to me.  “Ben!” he exclaims.  “I’ve never been so happy to see you, Solo.”

"You okay?" I ask.  Poe looks terrible, but he nods.  He’s been beaten bloody, and I think his nose might be broken.  “Who’s this?” I ask, as I nod toward the man I don’t know.  “Is he resistance?”

“No, I’m just a trooper.  But I’m gonna help you two get out of here if you’ll take me with you.”  The other man is dark skinned and handsome, and I feel something deep within him.  I sense the Force working within him, but not dark like I would expect from the First Order.  The Light shines in his aura, and in his dark eyes.

“What’s the plan?” I ask.

“Can you fly a tie fighter?” he asks when he looks at Poe.

“I can fly anything,” Poe replies.  I roll my eyes inside my helmet.  He’s cocky even when he’s bloody.  “We’re gonna do this,” he says excitedly, his dark eyes filling with mischief and confidence.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying this rewrite, let me know by commenting or finding me on tumblr!  
> I am tcotsao3

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if my AU is crazy, or okay, or you like it.  
> I've marked it as mature because let's be honest, things will get sexy between a passionate DARK SIDE Rey and a naive sexy LIGHT SIDE Ben!
> 
> SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MY ALPHA BUNNY JONEZ! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!
> 
> I'm not sure what the update schedule will be yet. We'll feel our way there.


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